i find my state of mind still framed by a decade crammed with hurt and mistrust. it’s tiring feeling this way. so i’ve been taking the time to hone a few things, nurture some hobbies and be quiet. i’m not willing to wade out to do anything yet, i’m happy to stand on the rocky sidelines, arms crossed over my chest, seemingly unable to swallow any more regrets.
so i feel like i’m going into the winter of my heart, getting wet, bone cold and shivering. but at least i’m feeling something.
because when i dive back into it all again, i want to be able to sink to the bottom of the blackness and when i surface again for air, i want to be laughing.