acceptance

it’s sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew.” ~henry rollins

i had lunch with an old friend this past weekend. actually, he’s someone i dated very, very briefly, about six years ago. we never got anywhere beyond the simple hug in greeting and goodbye. his fiancee was also in attendance. apparently she’s the jealous type. in fact, so jealous that the house he currently owns and rents out must now go on the market because he had bought it intending to live with another woman, nevermind said woman dumped him a week after he signed the papers, but still, that house must go (also, nevermind how shitty the housing market is right now!). so jealous that his relatively new queen size mattress must be thrown out because he’s “entertained” other women in it before. so jealous that an hour long lunch with an old female friend was too hard for him to explain so she had to come along for the meal.

i went into the meal believing that she didn’t like me. i was prepared to show her that she had nothing to fear from me, that i had accepted his decision to accept her crazy jealousy acts, that i was willing to put myself out there so that she could see me as a non-threat. because that’s what i am. he has chosen her as his mate and with that i understand and support him in whatever is required of him to be the upstanding soon-to-be doomed husband. she has possessive tendencies, ok, i see that, i respect understand accept it. she wants to be present at every social situation he is in with a female, fine, i can handle that & i can be cordial about it.

but i left that meal with the firm belief that unless i made the move, i will never see or hear from him again.

and that makes me incredibly sad.

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