20something & dumb

i tell people that i am enjoying my 30s so much more than i did my 20s. nevermind that i can’t eat anything beyond a certain time of night for fear of the added inches to every part of my body, but that is just PHYSICAL and something that i can work on. emotionally (and financially) i am so much better off. this is what i would tell my 20something dumb self, even tho i probably would not have listened:

move to california. do it for yourself. do it for a change in scenery. do it because you can. but don’t do it for a boy. for the record, it’s ok to move back home after a year out west. so you know for a fact that the left coast life isn’t that grand, it’s ok. it is not, however, ok that you’re moving back home for a boy. it is also not ok that you’re not speaking to your parents, they are who they are and you may disagree vehemently with what they’re saying, but you giving them the silent treatment means that you won’t see your sisters for 3 years.

that’s the biggest crime of all.

don’t be lazy, exercise. running 5K is not that bad and really, it doesn’t take very long.
despite not making much money as you try to figure out if you want to stay in headhunting or work in a bank, save your pennies for travel and not bullshit items like posters and picture frames and FUCKING FLAT SCREEN TVS THAT WILL BE REPLACED 6 MONTHS LATER WHEN THE BIGGER SIZE COMES OUT.
grad school – don’t do it. you may have done pretty ok in the grades department, but school was never been your thing. showing up for class was never your thing. maturity and paying for school yourself doesn’t change that. you want to learn something, read books other than smut & really bad fiction – join a book club instead & talk about the books with like-minded people (and i mean, really talk about the book, damnit), watch quality shows other than the abysmal reality shows that was so prevalent in those years, don’t be so shy and go out & meet people, learn from them.
dump the boy. yes you followed him to San Diego, yes you followed him back east but yes, you also caught him in bed with another woman. and yes, he always left you alone on new year’s eve for you to watch the ball fall in your darkened living room, in your pajamas, hair in a messy bun, and FACE IN BIG BOWL OF ICE CREAM.
speaking of the boy, potential basically means UNDER ACHIEVING LOSER. remember that.
get over yourself. so you graduated on time. yeah you stood up to your parents, moved out & lived on your own while all your other cousins, on both sides, were still at home & living off their mom & dad’s dimes. so what? what of it? those same people that you were so quick to abhor? they have a relationship with their parents.
accept your sisters. they’re not babies anymore. you taught them to stand up for themselves, you encouraged them to speak their mind, so when they do, don’t act all surprised & offended.
on the flip side, don’t take shit from your sisters. just because they’re younger than you and don’t know any better doesn’t mean you should give them free passes on being assholes. you’re not teaching them anything of value by taking their shit.
pay your credit card bills in full every month, if you can’t, don’t buy it. buying your first home will be so much easier, trust me.
don’t be so fixated on getting a ball&chain by 25 that you’ll stay with one guy in the hopes that you’ll change him, that he’ll all of a sudden stop being a douchebag. those types of time constraints are not suited for you, it’s suited for stepmothers who just want to marry you off so your father will focus on her children.
embrace God. He was with you all thru college, during your loneliest time, do not ignore the presence that is always with you, for He will not forsake you. ever.

last, be kind to yourself. no one else will be, especially if they see you treating yourself like ass.

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One response to “20something & dumb

  1. Love your little rant here… now you’ve gone and made it where i’ve got to read more about this interesting woman who embraces some change…so refreshing to see this…

    T.

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