Monthly Archives: August 2011

Slap Running

i ran the most i’ve ever run on monday. 4.5 miles.

i think i’ve figured out what will not make me want to poke my eyes out in sheer boredom while running. Running around a lake. running around a lake large enough that i don’t have to loop around it a bajillion times to hit target distance. this particular lake was 1.5 miles around so twice would’ve given me, give or take, the 5K distance. i ran it 3 times, because i am training for a 1/4 marathon relay.

that’s besides the point.

just as i was finishing my 2nd loop i got slapped. on the ass. by a kid on a bike.

it quite literally struck me dumb. i saw this gaggle of kids on their bike, doing wheelies and basically being a nuisance on the running and bike trail. i watched them do a wide circle around me as i ran. their ages ranged anywhere from 10 to 13 years old. i figured they were just showing off, i ignored them. but when the slap came i couldn’t very well ignore them anymore.

the kid who tapped my ass rode off as fast as he could. i stopped, took off my ear set. he kinda circled back to see what i would do and when he was closer i told him his behavior was immature and set a bad example to the younger kids in his group, that that kind of antic could one day get him hurt. some of his group went along with me, saying “you don’t do that to a lady!” while others high fived him and gave him praise. the apparent leader of the group asked me if i was ok and then herded the kids off. they left the park shortly after.

i’ll be honest, i was shaken. i didn’t necessarily feel threatened, they’re children but there was enough of them that should their frame of mind been different, there could’ve been some crazy trouble. i was also slightly annoyed that the people who witnessed the incident did nothing. they kept running, walking or biking. i get it. people mind their own business. it’s just disappointing.

$5wordGuy* and i had run in opposite directions but after that incident, when i met with him again on the trail, i had him run with me. tho my pace is decidedly slower than his, he held himself back, sometimes moving ahead but always running back to me. i will run this lake again, but will time it more carefully to mornings on weekends, when these kids aren’t awake yet.

living my life like a Smut Novel

i received a Kindle for xmas last year, a gift that reduced me to tears when i opened the package because i had coveted it but could not justify buying it for myself. i dreamed of all the books i would finally be able to read from my long list of to Read. reality set in when i saw how easily the cost would pile up should i purchase every book on a whim. to temper my enthusiasm i added them to the Wish List, checking in weekly for sales, as they do occur albeit not very often. a twitter friend┬álet me know about the FREE list that amazon has, usually reserved for self-published wannabe authors, classics and, of course, the absolute downright awful shitty books. the genre of Romance, aka smut, can fall in all three categories and as it happens, i’m a fan of smut reading. i dabble in reading romance, ranging from historical to modern-day fare. i always used to say that if i wasn’t living it, i might as well read it. ain’t no shame here.

as a result, in the last 8 months i’ve read 29 books, 14 of which in the Smut group (jeez, almost HALF). at any given time when chatting with me, you can tell if i’m reading a historical novel by the weird phrases that litter my speech. over the weekend, during Irene’s visit i finished an absolutely smashingly awesomely awful book and started another that is promising to be effing terrible.

Saturday, while $5wordGuy* was doing the dishes, the rain & wind pounding on the windows, NPR droning in the background, i sat at the kitchen table devouring the world of England’s ton. upon finishing a particular chapter, i looked up and the following conversation occurred:

“sir. in this book this earl dude sent a fancy shmancy butterfly pendant to the mistress chick he just bedded. i don’t recall receiving any such token when you first bedded me. what up with that?”

“i didn’t know that it was required…”

“you sir, are a RAKE!”

without missing a beat, but with dish soapy hands, he turns and bows deeply. “madam, i present to you A HOE!”

no matter what, i’m keeping this man.

Finally, last night, before bed i started the new book. again, the snippet of convo that ensued pretty much left me a giggling mess.

“…but MY LORD, i’m pretty sure … MY LORD, what shall we sup on the morrow night?… are you looking forward to our long run on the morrow, My Lord?”

“when you say ‘MY LORD”, i do not feel the high esteem such a title calls for… instead, you sound exasperated and like you’re saying “OH LORD!”

for real. he’s a keeper.

results

prior to writing this post i had hopes that i would say that i am treating myself to a new outfit or that i got that ever elusive runner’s high. alas, none of that. it’s not all negative tho. i beat my previous race by a minute-ish, yes, (37:14) but i had my heart set on 35 minutes. i am uninjured, i am barely sore and i already have my sights on another race in a couple of weeks for labor day weekend. onwards.

i did strike a deal with $5wordGuy* that should i do “well” he would treat me to a new outfit, the definition of “well” being vague. i finished and he decreed that that constitutes as well. so i will get my new outfit afterall! hooray!

in the meantime, i have plans for 3.5 mile runs this week by the lake in the city, for some much needed change of scenery, as well as getting off that blasted treadmill. i’m not loving it but i’m still doing it, one begrudging step at a time.

sick

i’m not sick, $5wordGuy* is.

he’s an eater, he is capable of putting away enough food to feed a small village and maintain a stick figure. it’s amazing. i think he met his match on Sunday at a family picnic.

banh xeo is a vietnamese crepe that is fried, and to make them extra crispy, you add more oil during the cooking process.

the record number of crepes consumed: 9
he consumed: 7

he was not doing well last nite.

i am not a sympathetic person when it comes to the sick. i can whip up a great chicken noodle soup, i can fetch meds, i’ll even clean up the mess. but i stay clear of until whatever virus is in the air is gone. this is for those stricken with the flu, simple cold, chicken pox or a broken limb. i don’t like to listen to the whine. i prefer you to suffer in silence. because that is how i am when i am sick.

$5wordGuy* called me a shitty nurse last night and all i could do was laugh.

he speaks such truth.

i did respond that i should’ve put that on my match.com profile in which he retorted that it would’ve made a big difference in his decision to contact me.

oh sick people are such drama queens.

grim determination

i ran 3.5miles today in 40 minutes. i noticed that my 3.1 miles clocked in at 37 minutes. sigh. my strategy today was to walk 0.1miles and run until i hit a full mile, then repeat. i also alternated speed and incline on the treadmill.

i looked at the race course for Sunday and i’m concerned about the various hills and roads/surfaces.

my goal is 35 minutes. if i make it, i will treat myself to a new outfit for the fall.