living my life like a Smut Novel

i received a Kindle for xmas last year, a gift that reduced me to tears when i opened the package because i had coveted it but could not justify buying it for myself. i dreamed of all the books i would finally be able to read from my long list of to Read. reality set in when i saw how easily the cost would pile up should i purchase every book on a whim. to temper my enthusiasm i added them to the Wish List, checking in weekly for sales, as they do occur albeit not very often. a twitter friend let me know about the FREE list that amazon has, usually reserved for self-published wannabe authors, classics and, of course, the absolute downright awful shitty books. the genre of Romance, aka smut, can fall in all three categories and as it happens, i’m a fan of smut reading. i dabble in reading romance, ranging from historical to modern-day fare. i always used to say that if i wasn’t living it, i might as well read it. ain’t no shame here.

as a result, in the last 8 months i’ve read 29 books, 14 of which in the Smut group (jeez, almost HALF). at any given time when chatting with me, you can tell if i’m reading a historical novel by the weird phrases that litter my speech. over the weekend, during Irene’s visit i finished an absolutely smashingly awesomely awful book and started another that is promising to be effing terrible.

Saturday, while $5wordGuy* was doing the dishes, the rain & wind pounding on the windows, NPR droning in the background, i sat at the kitchen table devouring the world of England’s ton. upon finishing a particular chapter, i looked up and the following conversation occurred:

“sir. in this book this earl dude sent a fancy shmancy butterfly pendant to the mistress chick he just bedded. i don’t recall receiving any such token when you first bedded me. what up with that?”

“i didn’t know that it was required…”

“you sir, are a RAKE!”

without missing a beat, but with dish soapy hands, he turns and bows deeply. “madam, i present to you A HOE!”

no matter what, i’m keeping this man.

Finally, last night, before bed i started the new book. again, the snippet of convo that ensued pretty much left me a giggling mess.

“…but MY LORD, i’m pretty sure … MY LORD, what shall we sup on the morrow night?… are you looking forward to our long run on the morrow, My Lord?”

“when you say ‘MY LORD”, i do not feel the high esteem such a title calls for… instead, you sound exasperated and like you’re saying “OH LORD!”

for real. he’s a keeper.

Advertisements

2 responses to “living my life like a Smut Novel

  1. I came back to give you my latest Nathanson encounter.
    http://groovininthesun.blogspot.com/2011/09/night-with-maroon-5-train-and-matt.html
    But I read your post and laughed a little too loudly. OMG, do you read fanfiction? Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. There’s a lot of GOOD smut out there. I can message you links, if you want to give it a go. Now, I’m really interested how you got on this running kick because Lord knows I need to get up and do something (besides read smut) on my rare, free time. 😉

  2. Pingback: My Love Affair with Young Adult Fiction | Some Mad Hope

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s