Monthly Archives: May 2012

10lb babies & such

jessica simpson had a spawn in the last 24 hours. good for her. it felt like she was knocked up for ages. the baby came out weighing 9lbs 14oz. that is 2oz away from 10lbs. that is a big baby. i have discussed this with bigk. we have a fear of birthing big babies, but also, apparently in odd circumstances:

bigk: that is going to be us. we’re going to have unnaturally large babies and it’s going to happen on some bridge in a cab during a noah’s ark type of storm.

me: you are so dramatical. it would be during a Maine-like snowstorm and the vehicle will break down in a ditch and the only thing for warmth is a quilt with emergency phone numbers stitched on it but the phone gets no reception because of the storm that is caused by the collective sinning of our siblings having babies out of wedlock and/or posing in bikinis on FB.

bigk: i knew somehow my sisters and their bastard kids would haunt me!! back to having babies in ridiculous conditions. that is a huge fear of mine. and even giving birth at home just b/c my street is blocked off due to a sink hole or something. or the circus is in town and all of the animals escape and camp out in front of my door.

these are the things that go on in the minds of 30somethings who should be working but aren’t.