average

i was always an average student. people are surprised when i tell them that i’ve never had straight As, or that it was rare for me to be on the high honor roll. i could say that i was disinterested, not fulfilling my potential, all the things that school counselors are supposed to say to parents when report cards are not what they expect of their eldest child, to soften the blow that their child is not a genius, not even close.

one of the things that i have learned about myself is that i enjoy learning, i just don’t like showing up. my freshman year of college was spent out of the classroom and my grades reflected that. but if you looked closely at my papers and exams, they were not bad. but deductions were made for missing class. it boggled my mind that i would be penalized for attendance when i clearly was doing the work and acing exams. but one professor put it in perspective: you have to show up for work in order to get paid, you need to show for class in order to get graded. (one would think i’d work in a contracting/consulting environment but that is too abstract for me.)

dw says often that i’m an introverted reader. my speech sometimes reflects this. my everyday speaking has no accent, in fact, it’s very much like a journalist’s, no regional accent to give away where i’m from. on the phone you would not be able to tell that i’m asian, that english is my 2nd language. i tend to stick to simple words, rarely branching out to $5words. not because i don’t know any, or what they mean, but because sometimes i’m not sure of their proper pronunciation. it’s a quiet shame quirk, one that i hid but with him, i say them out loud, then i follow up with “did i say that right? how do you pronounce it? you say it.” and he always, patiently, teaches me.

being with dw is like that. he teaches me something new all the time. and he doesn’t make me feel stupid or inadequate or lesser or that i’m not fulfilling my potential. with him, learning is fun, it’s exciting and i show up everyday ready for more. i seriously ace this Life right now.

 

 

 

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