Tag Archives: odd

a political education

oh the humanity

i despair sometimes when i think about the reading/writing level of our fellow citizens.

my AP english teacher would’ve failed me if i had told him to google any points i made in a thesis. (not to mention the assclown argument that was made originally.)

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toe sucking & qtips

i just read the what sex is like for guys post by a cup of jo. naturally, i sent the link to both the boytoy and best friend.

dw pointed out that i certainly go thru qtips, something i never really noticed but now that i think about it, i do like each ear to have its own clean qtip, and not just one side of one qtip. and i do look fwd to this particular task after every shower, whether i washed my hair or not. huh.

then the bff wrote to say: what? if it were like sucking on a big toe then i don’t think it would be such a huge deal to them. for one, from what i’ve read, is that they have a ton of nerves on the tipster. i’m going to research this. i’ll flick matt’s big toe and if he drops a warm pearl then we’ll know.

i was no more good. this is why i need to keep her around. i am hyena giggling in my office right now.

apologies

this song. on repeat. i need to stop facebook stalking.

10lb babies & such

jessica simpson had a spawn in the last 24 hours. good for her. it felt like she was knocked up for ages. the baby came out weighing 9lbs 14oz. that is 2oz away from 10lbs. that is a big baby. i have discussed this with bigk. we have a fear of birthing big babies, but also, apparently in odd circumstances:

bigk: that is going to be us. we’re going to have unnaturally large babies and it’s going to happen on some bridge in a cab during a noah’s ark type of storm.

me: you are so dramatical. it would be during a Maine-like snowstorm and the vehicle will break down in a ditch and the only thing for warmth is a quilt with emergency phone numbers stitched on it but the phone gets no reception because of the storm that is caused by the collective sinning of our siblings having babies out of wedlock and/or posing in bikinis on FB.

bigk: i knew somehow my sisters and their bastard kids would haunt me!! back to having babies in ridiculous conditions. that is a huge fear of mine. and even giving birth at home just b/c my street is blocked off due to a sink hole or something. or the circus is in town and all of the animals escape and camp out in front of my door.

these are the things that go on in the minds of 30somethings who should be working but aren’t.

unabashedly flirting

in 8th grade i was voted biggest flirt. this alarmed me. as a result, in 12th grade i was voted most likely to get published. in college i admit to being a little wild, more laid back and certainly freer with my affection. i had never held hands with a boy before, it was a revelation! my behavior could never be labeled as loose but it certainly bothered Princess*. when we were together, he objected to me talking to any guy, friend or stranger. it is a wonder i stayed with him for as long as i did.

i don’t think i flirt too horribly, but it sure is nice to have a man find me attractive. dw tells me everyday that i am beautiful, and i love it. sometimes, to hear it from someone else gives me a little thrill. unlike before, i do not feel guilty about this. and somehow, when i tell dw about this, i don’t see him going off the handle & making me feel like a cheap ass hooker.

oh steamy penthouse note.